Jennifer Lawrence just got a pixie cut this week so perfect, it’s spiked waves of hatred among twenty-somethings.
“Every time I think I’m gaining ground in my life, Jennifer Lawrence has to do it more perfectly than I ever could,” says recent graduate Catherine Trimble.
“First she gets a multi-million dollar franchise, then she gets the Oscar, and now she gets this perfect haircut—and she’s only twenty-three! I’m her age, have a theatre degree from Northwestern, and the only line I’ve ever had to memorize for a job is ‘do you want fries with that?’”
When asked to comment on this article, Jennifer Lawrence declined. However, her haircut had a statement it wanted to make.
The haircut just looked at me and said, “I’m sexy and I know it, so suck on that, bitch!” And then it dropped the mike, with both it and the actress it rests on walking away.