Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia has seen the new film 12 Years a Slave, and says, simply, “during this film, I was reminded of how much easier blacks had it back then.”
“They didn’t have to worry about taxes, or unemployment, since they always had a job. And they didn’t have to worry about a slow-loading website for healthcare, since there was no internet at that time.
“And the way they shot the plantations were so beautiful, I mean, who wouldn’t want to live there? Who wouldn’t want to live in crowded huts with ten other people at a time? They probably partied so hard back then.
“I remember going to the premiere of Birth of a Nation and thinking, ‘Gee, it was really tough for blacks after they were freed and given voting rights.’ This movie proves just what a good, stabilizing thing slavery was for them.”
When asked about the much-praised work of star Chiwitel Ejiofor, Scalia said, “Chewie Eejy-weejy did pretty good, but I’m too old to learn how to pronounce his name properly.
“I didn’t learn how to pronounce Quie-Zhoo-Zhoo last year from Beasts of the Southern Wild, either.”