Wonder Woman Movie Delayed Because “Girls Can’t Be Superheroes,” Says Studio Head

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When asked on Thursday why a Wonder Woman movie has been delayed for so long, the head of Warner Brothers simply said, “Look, girls can’t be superheroes.  There.  I said it.”

He continued: “Wonder Woman is an inaccurate representation of women because of a couple of major things:

“Firstly, she beats up men.  This is something women just can’t do in real life!  The only time I’ve ever heard of a woman threatening to beat someone up are if their kid gets threatened, or somebody cuts them on line at Magnolia Bakery.

“And secondly, a woman who defines herself as a person—without a man in her life?  Please!  That’s hardly the way women behave in this day and age!

Reporters kept pressing him on, saying that women and men alike have long been waiting for a Wonder Woman movie, but he insisted his point of view was correct.

“These traits keep women from being truly super,” he said.  “They can be subservient to a team, like Scarlet Johansson in The Avengers, but they can’t lead a team on their own!  I mean, what if Wonder Woman got her period in the middle of a huge fight?  It would cause chaos!”

When pressured to answer whom he would cast as Wonder Woman if the movie ever got made, he simply said, “Jared Leto.  Have you seen him in Dallas Buyers Club?  My God, he can play a woman!”

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