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Nelson Mandela, an icon for human rights worldwide, died yesterday, his widow explains, so that he didn’t have to live in a world with The Sound of Music Live.
“Nelson loved Rodgers and Hammerstein,” she says, “and when he found out Carrie Underwood was going to be singing their music, he said to me, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live in this world anymore.’ The NBC logo came on last night, he said, ‘Goodbye,’ and died right there.”
According to her, in the last months of his life you couldn’t mention the word “Carrie” to him in any form.
“The movie ‘Carrie’? He’d let out a depressed sigh. John Kerry? Depressed sigh. Even if I asked him to carry something, he would start ranting. It made his last months very sad.”
After announcing his death yesterday, his widow released a statement that he dictated shortly before he passed:
I have cherished the ideal of free musical theatre in which all actors can be cast colorblind (LOVE Audra McDonald) and it can be done live on television. It is an ideal I am willing to live for. But, my lord, if they screw it up with American Idol singers, it’s an ideal for which I am willing to die.”
The Hollywood Ignorer 
This is highly offensive! Such a disgrace that you would write this! How dare you?!
How dare I? Well, between you and me, this is a fake blog, so…yeah. How dare I indeed.